As I dressed for my singing date with the Harmony Collected community choir, I hesitated, briefly, as I buckled a black belt on my tan pants. I have been a fan of a “black and tan” beer — the layering of a stout beer over a pale ale — but in the fashion world in which I had been immersed for more than 30 years, a black belt with tan pants is an unforgivable fashion faux pas. Though I have graduated from the fashion scrutiny business, I still have the habits and instincts that were ingrained in me. And some days, getting dressed has unnecessary challenges.
Six pairs of shoes huddle on the floor in front of my bedroom closet; inside, there are 12 more pairs. A recent discovery in a closet in my hallway revealed another pair, some Penguin boots! I cannot remember the last time those boots were on my feet, but based on the wear shown on the soles and heels, they have not spent much time out of the box. But the companions for those 19 pairs of shoes are about 85 pairs of socks, spread out (or in) three drawers. Only one pair of these has not spent any time on my feet, and I am eager to put those football and beer-themed polyester and cotton fellows into play. But what is the appropriate color scheme to coordinate with tan pants?
And can I wear black shoes? In 2008, when the advertising department of the Famous-Barr department store in St. Louis Missouri was nearing its close, I did a “star turn” as a model for one of the catalogs. I had come to St. Louis from the advertising department of L.S. Ayres in Indianapolis and was an assistant Creative Director, but the end was nigh: The advertising responsibilities were being shifted to Texas. Our budget was strangled, and for the last Father’s Day catalog, I was photographed — along with another employee and a professional model — for the front cover of the catalog. I am wearing a light blue, short-sleeved polo shirt, and double-pleated tan pants, cinched with a brown belt. I have on a light blue baseball cap, and I am holding a golf club; my co-worker is wearing a similar outfit. The pro is posed as if completing a putt. I still have clothes similar to those I wore for that fashion shoot, though the double-pleated pants have long gone out of style.
I’d like to be able to dress without wondering if I am fashionable, but even when I am going to the pool room, I make sure that my clothing choices pass the “fashion” muster. My biggest problem is that I have no brown belts. At least, brown belts that are not braided leather, which are no longer fashionable. My shoes are old, my wardrobe is outdated, and I may be the only one who cares that my shirts are not “slim-fit.” And I do not have trousers that taper down to shoes that are as long as canoes. Nor do I have those “old man” shoes with the giant heels and the white soles. *Sigh*
Don’t judge me, please.
cjon3acd@att.net