You’re newly single and eager to start dating. You’ve always had a thing for older gents, so charming and old-fashioned in all the good ways. You decide to search for a new beau on Match.com. You fill in your various preferences from location to political bent. When you get to age, you hit 75+.
Bingo! The first gentleman that pops up seems to check all your boxes: He’s handsome, witty, loves piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. Best of all, he’s 97 years old! Just your type. You agree to meet at Jockamo’s. You’re thinking, if he’s anything like his photos, this could be the man of your dreams!
The big day comes and you get to the restaurant a little early and find a seat in the bar near the window. You catch sight of him slowly walking up the street and — OMG — he is just as appealing as his photos. Your heart is fluttering in your throat as he steps through the door and sits across from you. Your eyes lock. The conversation flows. By the time the server brings your check it’s clear that this man is The One.
Suddenly he reaches across the table to rest his hand gently on yours and says, “Full disclosure, my dear, I must tell you that I have arthritis. And this may be TMI but I must confess that my, um, plumbing doesn’t work as well as it used to.” He pauses, then points to his face. “And I’m sure you’ve noticed these wrinkles.”
Do any of these confessions surprise you? The dude is 97 years old. They shouldn’t.
I think you know where I’m going with this. Most houses in our neighborhood are old. With old age comes settling, uneven floors, cracks in the walls and ceilings, outdated plumbing, drafty windows, and maybe signs of bug damage, asbestos, and water in the basement. My sweet little house on Lowell had a 3” difference from one corner of the kitchen to the other. It never even occurred to me to worry; my inspection report indicated no structural problems. I made a profit when I sold it, to a buyer who wasn’t afraid of old houses, and this year she profitably sold it to another buyer who was equally unafraid.
The key is understanding the difference between normal old house issues and real problems. Arthritis is one thing, the Bubonic Plague is quite another.
High radon levels, black mold, weak foundations, termite damage, extensive wood rot and leaky roofs are the top deal-breakers but even then, remedies do exist, and many of these problems are found in younger homes (and as a Realtor living in Irvington, a young house to me is anything built after 1950!).
My advice to my buyers looking for something close to flawless, let’s shop somewhere other than in Indy’s vintage neighborhoods. I sell everywhere and I’m sure I can find you a new house with doors that actually close shut in the summer while mine are swelling.
But if you’re looking for an old house that was built when this city was a place of living history, when Lincoln’s funeral car chugged up the Pennsylvania Railroad tracks and a small-time crook named John Dillinger was sticking up corner drug stores, look here.
If you’re intrigued by vestiges of another time like coal chutes and laundry chutes, telephone niches, servant staircases and butler’s pantries, look here.
And if you want a house with kitchen cabinets made of actual wood, or magnificent Vitrolite glass tiles in the bathroom, or dignified columns and built-in bookcases, brick fireplace surrounds and arched entryways, and floors that creak (but boy do they glow golden in the midday sun), look here. I can help you find the perfect imperfect old house. I can also help you sell the old house you’re in. Call or text me anytime. deb@debkent.com 317-225-2253.