October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month: Though rare — the average lifetime risk of a man getting breast cancer is less than 1% — breast cancer can occur in men. In 2025, researchers estimate about 2,800 new cases of invasive breast cancer will be diagnosed in men, and about 510 men will die from breast cancer.
The defense attorney rose from the table and swept his hand across his tie, smoothing it down as he closed his suit coat. As he moved around the table, he buttoned the coat and then, approached the witness. In all the murder/mystery shows that I watch, the men attend to their garments in that exact way: Rise, sweep the tie, close the jacket, and button it. But the TV shows do not have the women characters going through adjustments. But IRL (text-speak for “in real life,”) women will stand up from the table and go through a series of wiggling and wobbling adjustments, snapping waistbands, and popping straps, or running a finger into and out of a blouse.
I have a dim picture portrait of my artistic self as a young man, (sorry James Joyce) and my friends and I were always (ahem) adjusting ourselves. But these rearrangements were never public displays. The young men of today (old man rant coming) have adopted the prison style of pants-wearing, where the pants are below the butt, and the men must walk like penguins to keep the pants from falling onto the ground. They will occasionally adjust the hang, though never to bring the pants to their intended position at the waist; the adjustment will be a slight tug upward. We (the people) are still rewarded with the sight of unsightly drawers.
When I watch the lawyers of Law & Order fussing with the buttons on their suit coats, I remember the days when I was a manager of a small loan office and was required to wear a suit and tie. Once I arrived at the office, I removed the jacket and never put it on again until I went home. When a loan applicant needed to be interviewed, I rose from behind my desk and went to see the applicant. I did not sweep my tie, and I did not put on my jacket, which would have hidden the “CJW3” monogram on the left pocket of my bespoke shirt. The only time I needed to do a “tie-sweep” was before I sat down to eat, since mustard on my tie was not on the menu.
In a recent meeting with my youngest granddaughter’s teacher, I heard a familiar “snap” as the teacher sat down, the sound of a waistband having been released to strike a waist. And these pops and snaps are the general signal of some women’s arrivals and leaving. A commercial on TV showed a woman touting a weight-loss product and talking about “the little wiggle” she does when she puts on her pants. I have seen the “little wiggle” when some women rise to go to the restroom, and the groping around to rearrange the clothing, the pops and snaps muffled by said clothing. I no longer have a need to adjust anything upon rising from my seat, though a singer in the choral group “Harmony Collected” recently told me that the tag from the inside of my shirt was flying on the outside. He counseled me to return it to the inside and helped me to corral it.
I adjusted it.
cjon3acd@att.net