At a gathering in his home, a man I know made an inquiry about a woman I know; after a brief hesitation, he murmured that his comment might not be “politically correct,” then referred to the woman by using a pejorative term. I chuckled in what I hoped was a rueful manner; three other people in the room had displayed no discernible reaction. When I discussed the incident with a friend, she soothed my angry soul by noting that by not commenting, I had taken the high road. She found that admirable.
In May 2013, I wrote a rant about the term, “politically correct.” In it I said, “Some people spit the term ‘political correctness’ in a derisive and dismissive manner, as if politics is the only driver on the road to change.” I deplore the term because it is damagingly dismissive of the concept of decency.
In the wake of a Supreme Court decision in 1954 — Brown vs. Board of Education — southern states began displaying a Confederate battle flag. The displays were meant to show contempt for the courts’ decision and to the “northern states,” some of which were insensitive enough to insist on equality for all the citizens of the country. I wonder if politically correct is another kind of battle flag, flung in the faces of people whose rights we must recognize, but with whom we disagree on other issues. The term is seldom used as a compliment.
Two things: I recently received an e-mail from a reader who took exception to my characterization of someone; the reader sent me a Wikipedia researched summary of the troubles of the person he apparently felt that I had unfairly mocked. Some months ago, I responded in anger to a neighbor’s behavior by blasting the jazz-fusion band Weather Report’s 13-minute, 3-second “Boogie Woogie Waltz.” Loud. I immediately chastised myself for that boorish behavior. (It is such a jam, though.) The first instance was an attempt at humor that misfired, at least for one reader; the second was purposefully nasty behavior.
I have an interesting circle of acquaintances, a group with wildly varying opinions on many things. Some of the people with whom I have interactions would never choose to associate with some others in my circle; some of them have publicly expressed opinions that are sideways of mine. I imagine that if these diverse personalities were spilled onto a floor, they would scamper from each other like balls of mercury. But they all have qualities that merit their inclusion in the human race.
I ran into a previous coworker in a department store recently and was reminded again how difficult it is to get it right, all of the time. This man had been a reluctant confessor to a racially discriminatory practice many years ago. He was speaking to someone who was in my office and this was not an admission that he wanted me to hear. We spoke of it at the time, I worked with him for about another ten years, and he did nothing to disappoint my grace.
In this bright New Year, I would like to see people make a commitment to be politically decent. I would like to see an overabundance of humor and a surfeit of nastiness. I know that I will fail, but I will keep trying. We should all be kind and show some sensitivity, not because we fear that some person or group will take offense if we do not, but because we have learned something, and want to express our understanding and decency.