Reception & Catering
If you just got engaged this holiday season, then you are still floating on air, but you also know you have a lot of decisions to make. You’ll have to make them all in the next few months if you plan on getting married this year or even next year.
There are so many things to plan and it’s really scary and exciting all at the same time. Of course picking a date is very important, but it will probably all depend on the availability of the church and reception place you pick.
If you are having a small intimate family wedding, you might consider the Historic Benton House in Irvington at 312 S. Downey (356-8692) for a bridal shower, reception, or the wedding itself. It is a Victorian mansion built in 1873. It’s beautifully maintained with room for 50 at a sit-down dinner reception or buffet. If you would like to tour the Benton House, they are having an Open House Saturday, February 9th from 10 a.m. to noon with a free brunch being served.
Also, Two Sister’s Cakery & Bakery in Cumberland has a Celebration Room that can be rented for your special day — just call 640-8819 for details. They can do the wedding cake, too.
Another idea is the Bona Thompson Memorial Center, at 5350 E. University. It was a library for Butler back at the turn of the century and now is an art gallery. It has a kitchen for a caterer to set up and table and chairs for your convenience. It makes a great cocktail party wedding, which is very popular right now. Call Steve Barnett at 353-2662 to get more information.
If this is a small or second marriage, a family member with a large yard could be a possible site. You can rent a tent and IndyAnna’s can cater it. I’ve had IndyAnna’s cater several events and the food is delicious and they have the best prices I’ve seen. Just call Judi at 853-6575 (www.indyanna.com). IndyAnna’s has been in business over 38 years and there’s nothing they can’t handle beautifully.
The wedding cake is a big decision too! Talk to Tess (602-3660) at Roll With It Bakery — her cakes taste as good as they look and she will give you the personal attention you need.
Whatever your choice, be sure to research everything and ask advice of family and friends but remember, in the end, it’s your wedding and you need to make the final decision unless Dad’s paying for the whole thing — then you may have to compromise.
The Gown
Choosing your wedding gown is one of the most important decisions you will make for your wedding. That “perfect gown” may be hard to find. What you think would be perfect may not look good on you. Even if you have an idea of the style you want, be sure to try on styles you wouldn’t have considered, because they may look great on you. Take your camera in case the bridal shop lets you take pictures. After trying on a lot of dresses, they start looking alike and you may not remember exactly what the one you really loved looked like.
If you do find the perfect dress, buy it — don’t wait, especially if it’s on a clearance rack or it’s the only one in your size. Take close friends and family with you — it helps to have other opinions of what looks good on you.
If you are on a really tight budget the resale shops may have just the perfect dress. After all, it was only worn once and could save you a lot of money.
Try a bridal salon like The Perfect Stitch which carries one-of-a-kind designer gowns for 50 to 75% off retail. See their ad in the top right hand corner of this page. Check out their Web site at http://www.theperfectstitch-bridal.com/
The bridesmaid’s dresses are always difficult to decide on too, because what looks good on one bridesmaid might not look good on another. I have been to several weddings where the color and fabric is the same but the style varies on the bridesmaids.
The color of the bridesmaid’s dresses may dictate the color scheme of the whole wedding, so be sure you pick a color you really love. I’ve been to several weddings where the ladies wore black which is very formal and whatever flowers you choose will stand out. Also the bridesmaid will be able to use the little black dress again.
The Music
Music is a very important decision to make for your wedding. Not just “your song” if you have picked one yet, but the music during the ceremony and the wedding reception. Depending on your budget you can have an organist (churches usually have one on staff), CD music or a harpist like Melissa Gallant (289-9547) whose ad is here on the page. I highly recommend her — she is an amazing talent.
You may decide to have someone sing at your wedding, which can be a very nice touch.
The type of reception you have will depend on the type of music you want to choose. If your reception is in a very small church basement you probably won’t want to hear a full blown band, but a DJ might work. A live band is the best, of course, and you will be surprised at all the groups out there to choose from.
Even though you probably have time to decide on exactly what songs you want played at your reception, you need to book the band or D.J. early because those Saturday nights fill up fast.
The first dance is the first dance between the bride and groom as a married couple. The most important thing though is to have the bride and groom agree on a song that is special to them. There are literally thousands of choices of great love songs and wedding songs. This song will be remembered by the wedding couple the rest of their lives, so give it a lot of thought and check out music Web sites online.
Nowadays many couples take dance lessons so they can show off their skills on the dance floor. My daughter and son-in-law did a salsa for their first dance that blew us all away.
The father-daughter dance is very important and if you have more than one father you may want to pick a favorite song and share the dance by having one father tap the other on the shoulder or you can pick two songs and reserve a special dance for each. Some couples combine the father-daughter with the groom-mother dance so pick a love song that fits both. If there is no father figure, a brother or uncle works out fine.
Just remember that whatever you decide, the most important thing is that you enjoy yourself as much as your guests do.
The Flowers
Choosing your wedding flowers can be one of the hardest decisions you need to make. You need to consider the season and not pick something that will cost more because it’s out of season. Also, if the colors have been picked for the wedding (the bridesmaid’s gowns) then you need flowers that will blend in or compliment those colors. Roses come in so many beautiful colors that they are always a good choice.
Who pays for the flowers? Nowadays there are no set rules about who pays for what in a wedding, but tradition dictates that the groom pays for the bride’s bouquet, boutonnieres for groomsmen and/or ushers and for the fathers, and corsages for the mothers.
The bride’s family pays for all reception and church flowers, bridesmaid bouquets, and flower girl flowers. Traditionally, the groom’s family pays for the rehearsal dinner, and they pay for any flower arrangements they decide to have there.
Should you try and do your own wedding flowers? Yes it is possible, but fresh flowers need to be done as close to the ceremony as possible and you’re going to be quite busy — it could be just too much to do. If you have family members or a close friend who have done flower arrangements and they volunteer, then by all means consider their help, especially if you are on a tight budget.
Get on the Internet and check out all the Web sites for wedding flowers — there are a lot of sites to look at, and many have helpful advice. Also, check out wedding books and magazines to get a feel for what you like, which will help you describe what you want to your florist. A small independent florist might have more time and give you the special attention you need.
If you or the groom are allergic to fresh flowers then you might consider silk flowers. The silk flowers available in craft stores look amazingly real. Prices are much more reasonable on silk too. I’ve done wedding flowers several times, using both silk and real. The silk can be picked out way ahead of time, arranged and will be ready to go. If they are used in your centerpieces then guests can have them after the reception as a special, lasting remembrance.
You can also use a potted plant as a centerpiece. For one spring wedding I did little pink potted geraniums with tulle and ribbon.
Just remember, whatever you decide and whatever happens, you are probably the only one that will notice anything that isn’t perfect and everyone else will think it was just beautiful.
The Rings
Picking your rings is such an intimate and personal decision, that you need the expertise of a jeweler who knows his craft.
Having a custom wedding set made just for you is the most creative thing you can do for your wedding and it is something that everyone will see and admire for the rest of your married life.
Everyone remembers bits and pieces of the wedding you had, but the ring is the crowning touch that will last a lifetime. Make the right decision and talk to a jeweler like Gary Brown at GNB Studio, Inc in Irvington (356-4834). Gary can work with you in creating a one of a kind wedding set that will make you happy.
Figure out how much you can afford to spend before you start looking. The standard rule is two months salary, but this is also a rule that the diamond industry created! However, it’s still a decent place to start, but then figure out your personal budget.
Don’t let anyone make you think that the amount of love is tied to how much is spent on a ring.
The Photographer
Don’t let picking a photographer for your wedding be the last thing you think of, but one of the first, right after picking the date. Good photographers are booked sometimes a year in advance. Be sure to view the work of your photographer. If you’re on a tight budget you may want to go with a freelancer who doesn’t have the overhead of a big studio. Be sure to get references and talk to someone who has used the photographer. Check out bridal fairs where photographers will have samples of their work. Go online and check out their Web sites.
When you finally make a decision, be specific on exactly what photos you want — make a “wish list” and go over it with the photographer. Make sure you know if you are buying a package or a la carte and how they handle additional prints and who gets the negatives.
They may require a deposit, but don’t pay the entire amount ahead of time under any circumstances. Be sure to have a contract and make sure you understand it. Find out how long before you see proofs and when the final photos are ready. Don’t be shy — get everything in writing because promises and verbal agreements can be broken.
I have helped photograph several weddings of family and friends and it can be very stressful, because there are no retakes — whatever happens, happens. Even if you know someone who takes great family pictures and you want them to do your wedding, just remember they may not have the skills to take photos in low light or deal with the flurry of activity at a wedding. Just because someone takes great sunset photos doesn’t mean they know how to photograph a wedding. You really need a professional. After the music stops playing and the guests are gone and the flowers wilted, all you have left is your memories and photographs, so choose wisely.