The Indiana State Fair brings back memories. When I was eight or nine years old my grownup brother, Earl, went to the State Fair with my parents and me.
They made the mistake of going on Labor Day. The weather was sweltering, and the crowd set an attendance record. I started the day off by leaving my little purse that contained my riches of $3 in a stall of the jam-packed restroom. Mother was not pleased when she had to go back in to retrieve it.
Earl agreed to accompany me on the rides. The lines were very long. Rather than waiting in different lines, he decided to save time by buying five tickets for the Ferris wheel. Around and around and around and around we went.
Also, I was frightened when the seat rocked. Perhaps that’s why I don’t like Ferris wheels to this day. One time we stopped at the Ionia Free Fair on our way to visit Michigan relatives. Bill conned me into taking teeny-bopper Vicki on the Ferris wheel. It was horrible. In addition to going forward, it would stop and then turn backwards. I obsessively watched the nuts and bolts that fastened the seat to the wheel, fearing that they’d come loose and that we’d be dumped out of the seat. I told Vicki, “Don’t you dare move a muscle and make this seat rock! Not to worry — she was also frightened. Afterwards, I informed Bill that this was the last time I’d ever go on a Ferris wheel.
He also talked me into going on a trail ride out West. I couldn’t control my horse which insisted on stopping to eat grass and rubbed my legs against trees. I love horses, but that was the last time I ever got on one! Bill later admitted that he didn’t like Ferris wheels or riding any better than I.
Whenever I went to the fair, I ended up thinking, “What the heck are you doing here?” One time Bill’s sister, Pat, asked me and Vicki to go to the fair with her and daughter. Bored by the end of a couple of hours, she said, “Why in the world are we doing this?”
One of my real estate clients was embarrassed because she was terrified of pigs. She insisted on going to the fair every year, thinking that she might cure her pig phobia by going to the swine barn. Every year the same thing happened: The minute she heard an “oink,” she panicked, and her husband and friends had to lead her out of the barn.
Other than the yummy elephant ears I find few benefits to the fair — too crowded, too hot, too much walking — although most people love it. It used to be that the favorite treats at the fair were elephant ears, funnel cakes, lemon shake-ups and tenderloins. Now they offer French-fried everything: Twinkies, birthday cake, s’mores, candy bars, Ho-Ho’s, and even — would you believe? — French-fried brownies. I enjoy French-fried foods, but this is ridiculous! And how about mac and cheese tacos? No wonder people are so fat!
Fair food also brings memories of 4H and Miss Tipton the 4H Leader who taught Home Ec. We learned how to make a very yummy, easy coffee cake, butter cake and Swedish tea ring in the baking division. Food prep participants learned simple cookery.
At the end of the summer, we prepared entries for judging. One year a girl entered a lovely cottage cheese salad garnished with what appeared to be slices of peaches. Mrs. Williams, also a Home Ec teacher was the judge. “Oh how pretty!” she said as she raised a forkful to her mouth. Ohmygod! Her face turned beet red, and she hurriedly gulped the glass of water that was used to cleanse the palate between entries. When she regained her voice that kind lady gently explained to the girl that it wasn’t a good idea to use hot banana peppers as garnish. wclarke@comcast.net