One of the few times I saw my father truly angry was at my sister’s wedding rehearsal. As we were waiting for the priest to put everyone through their paces, my father saw one of the groomsmen wandering around the church with his ballcap on. His grey-blue eyes blazed and his fists were clenched and he muttered to me “I want to knock that hat off that kid’s head. That’s disrespectful.” He took a deep breath, went over to the 20-something kid, and told him in a firm voice to take the damn cap off or he would knock it off. He hastily took it off and apologized. Dad explained that men must take off their hats in church, to show respect. It was one of those rules that was drilled into him during his Catholic upbringing, and while he discarded most of the church’s teachings, that was one thing he held to his entire life.
My grandfather owned an orchard in Michigan, and wore a green cap when working among the trees. I should also mention that Grandpa was not religious, and I doubt he ever saw the inside of a church unless it was for marrying or burying. But when he came into the house, he took his cap off. When he went into town, he wore a plaid fedora with a little green feather in the band. If he went to the local diner, he took his hat off, because it was impolite to wear your hat when you were eating.
While sitting at a local diner recently, I noticed several men wearing their caps while enjoying their burgers. However, one gentleman had removed his hat when seated. I wanted to go up to congratulate him on good manners, but he left before I did. Someone had taught him good manners.
So much hat etiquette has fallen out of fashion, regarded as stuffy and quaint by the “we don’t need no stinkin’ rules” generations from the Boomers to Generation Alpha. In the 1960s, gentlemen wearing hats started to fade as fashions became more casual in general for men. Women wearing hats also began to fade from public life around the mid-60s, after the pillbox hat craze started by Jackie Kennedy.
While the gentlemen had to take off their headgear in church, the rules for the ladies were quite different. Ladies were encouraged to wear hats in church, particularly in the south. In southern Christian tradition, ladies began to wear more elaborate hats, with ribbons and sequins and all sorts of finery to top off their Sunday Best. Many in the African-American community continue to wear these “church crowns” to Sunday services. This is particularly the case on Easter or Mother’s Day, when the ladies want to make a real statement.
Why the double-standard about head-coverings in church? Some people refer to 1 Corinthians 11:2-13 that states that “Any man who prays or prophecies with something on his head disgraces his head, but any woman who prays or prophesies with her head unveiled disgraces her head . . . for if a women will not veil herself, then she should cut off her hair . . .” In Jewish traditions, men and women cover their heads in the synagogue, as a sign of respect for God, tradition, and modesty. Many other faiths also require head coverings in sacred spaces, as well as in the secular world.
Gentlemen should also remove their hats or ballcaps during the National Anthem, in theaters or when entering someone’s home according to the Levine Hat Company. Again, it’s a sign of respect.
The backwards ball cap seems to have fallen out of fashion praise be to all that is holy. It looked dorky and served no purpose except to keep the sun from burning your neck.
While the fashion is for guys to hide thinning hair under a cap at all times, maybe they should reconsider. The friction from the cap may be making the situation worse, and we’re used to seeing comb-overs now. Perhaps it is time to put a lid on the practice.
