It’s Mental Health Awareness Month. One ingredient for strong mental health is social connection. Humans are wired for social connection, but we have become isolated over time due to various reasons. According to an advisory from the U.S. Surgeon General in 2023, “lacking social connection can increase the risk for premature death as much as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.” The Surgeon General further explained in this advisory that disconnection is “associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and premature death.”
A Harvard study of adult development concluded that the important predictor of happiness and longevity was having social connection. There is something about social connections that is vital for humans to flourish and lead healthier lives.
Many of us may need to develop new friendships to maintain strong social connections as we age. In many ways, forming friendships when we were young was based on circumstances. Now it involves effort.
Luckily, many individuals in midlife and older are open to new connections. Divorces, deaths, moves, job changes, health issues, children leaving the nest and new hobbies will prompt many people to look beyond their current social circles for new bonds. You might think that new friendships cannot become as strong as old ones, but consider that a new connection will be getting to know you as you are now, not who you were at 16.
Connecting with new friends is about putting yourself out there (to some extent). Find the method that works best for you:
• Sign up for a class. It can be a semester-long anthropology course, a one-day cooking class or a job training. Find something you already want to do and connect with others there. For example, the Eskenazi Health Healthy Me program (eskenazihealth.edu/programs/healthy-me) has sessions where you can exercise or learn about nutrition with peers.
• Join a networking event, a club sports team, a book club, a trivia night, a lecture, an art exhibit, an event at your local library or a conference.
• Attend a social event or club specific to your health or situation. For example, the Alzheimer’s Association includes information on in-person and virtual support groups for caregivers as well as for those coping with the disease: alz.org/help-support/community/support-groups. Eskenazi Health has groups devoted to those with specific illnesses, such as hypertension: eskenazihealth.edu/programs/nutrition-education.
• Volunteer. If you are into environmental causes, why not find others who are as well? Indiana’s government site has a helpful volunteerism page: in.gov/serveindiana/welcome.
• Try an app or social media. You can find many friendship apps (some are offshoots of dating apps). Nextdoor and similar apps can help you discover events in your neighborhood. Facebook Events and other social-gathering tools can help you find activities that will draw others who share your interests.
• Take advantage of existing networks and events. You may belong to a religious organization, professional association or club at work where you can find new ties. You can also reconnect with someone at a former workplace or find new friends by attending events planned by friends you already have.
Of course, not every event or social gathering will lead to a potential connection. Give the process time. Try not to take it personally if someone doesn’t have enough bandwidth to form a new relationship or feels insufficient rapport with you to begin a friendship. You’re better off befriending someone else.
Yes, it takes effort to form each new friendship, and a new tie can feel awkward and wobbly at first. Don’t worry. Once you get through the initial stages, you’ll be so glad you did something to support your own mental and physical wellbeing — while developing a new source of happiness for both of you. Together we can advance connections and improve our health!
Ananda Kannappan, M.D., primary care physician and Lifestyle Medicine practitioner with Eskenazi Health Center Grande