I had a wonderful Father’s Day. It was great being with the family and enjoying the day. Sunday evening my son and daughter took me to the downtown cinema to see the Conjuring 2, a motion picture about devils, ghosts, an demonic possession that is supposedly based on an actual incident, But this is not a film review. My wife is going on a well earned vacation trip next week with her sister. Watch out world — the Collins sisters are on the loose and will take no prisoners! Again this is not the subject of this piece other than that it means I will be by myself in the house. Alone at night. So seeing the movie was great timing on my part. It will be an experiment in finding out how many boogeymen I can talk myself into hearing and seeing in my closet, under my bed, or the corner of my eye.
Under the proper circumstances most everyone can talk themselves into seeing, hearing, and feeling practically anything. Very often the memory of a campfire story, a warning your grampa gave when you were six years old, a horror novel, a movie or TV program, or watching a political debate can be the catalyst for a waking nightmare, one that you have created in your subconscious. All you need is the proper setting for it to unfold. Your imagination can create more pure terror for you than any monster.
I have the psychic sensitivity of your average jelly bean. I have haunted the Hanna House, stood on the famous haunted back porch of Tuckaway at midnight on Halloween, and toured the celebrated Winchester mansion and experienced…..not a thing. My wife took a picture at the Winchester mansion and photographed a ghost. NO KIDDING! She does have lots of sensitivity or intuition if you want to call it that. As for me, even though I am insensitive to the spirit world, let me watch the movie The Haunting by myself, in the dark at midnight and every ghost that ever said BOOOOO, every demon that ever said GOTCHA, and every bat, giant spider, werewolf that ever prowled or cop that gave me a speeding ticket is right there in front of me at the edge of my bed waiting to snatch my soul to Hell. So my watching The Conjuring 2 was perfect timing on my part.
Actually I am looking forward to my solitude. There is a bit of masochistic pleasure in scaring yourself. Besides, the monsters of your id are much more controllable than the real monsters who kill innocent people in schools, churches, or public venues. I might even get some ideas for some future columns, so it will turn out all right. The demon under my bed said to tell you so.
snicewanger@yahoo.com