Comes the time that we turn the last page on the calendar, and we sing songs, and cry out to each other: “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Happy New year.” As someone who grew up with a church-oriented mother, my go-to holiday phrase has been “Merry Christmas.” But I take the point that some have made, that our holiday times include observations by many groups, not all of whom celebrate Christmas. Hanukkah is celebrated from December 7 through the 15; Kwanzaa is observed from December 26 through January 1, just to name two. A few years ago, there was a social media outcry about people saying, “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” People forget that the term “Happy Holidays” was popularized by the Irving Berlin song — “Happy Holiday” — which was featured in the 1942 movie, Holiday Inn. It had nothing to do with a refutation of Christmas. However we choose to celebrate and whichever term we use, we can all do something that carries no weight, but can give great joy: Be kind.
I got a recent call from a friend who had been thinking about the death of our mutual friend. “She was so kind to me, to my family,” she told me. She recounted the many times that our friend Nancy Mahanes had given of herself and her many artistic talents to her family. She was a full-fledged artist, a painter, potter and photographer, and her exquisite taste contributed to the design, layout and accessorizing of her homes. I met her when she attended the March 1996 wedding of our friend (they had the exact same name for many years), and we kept up a correspondence that lasted long after “An Offered Arm.” (The Weekly View, June 22, 2023.) But the greatest thing that she brought to our friendship was kindness. She commiserated with me when I told her of a challenge that one of my grandchildren had undergone and gave me kind counsel. In one our last conversations, she noted that the first letter I had written to her, which was shortly after we had met, was still on the edge of her drawing board. She sent me a picture of it. I cannot look at it without weeping. (“Weeping” and “wept” were terms that she used.) But in every way that she related to me, there was always a theme of kindness.
In January 2023, my friend Nancy called me and asked, “Did you wonder why I hadn’t called you?” I had left her a message earlier that month but had not followed up. I waited for her to call, and when she did, she told me that she had fallen and broken her hip. She had a hip replacement and recovery was difficult, but she was upbeat. Months later, she fell again, and those newly broken bones were soon laid to rest. But she left a legacy of kindness, one that we can all emulate.
“Nobody Knows The Trouble I’ve Seen” is an African-American spiritual that came to life during the time of slavery in this country. First published in 1867, the song has been covered by many artists, including Marian Anderson and Louis Armstrong. But it resonates with me at this time, for it can be said that we often do not know the troubles our friends and neighbors have seen. Which is why it is so important to be kind. We don’t know the weight being carried, the burdens under which they labor. My youngest granddaughter, when she visits with me, is reminded by her mother to “be kind.”
Let’s all be kind.
cjon3acd@att.net