If everything you know about buying or selling a house comes from HGTV, prepare to be surprised. Real estate TV shows bear only a passing resemblance to real life. Here are just a few reasons why:
Hardly anyone picks a house in 60 minutes. Sometimes it’s true love at first sight; a decisive buyer will know instantly that there’s no need to keep looking. But for the vast majority of house hunters, it can take weeks or months to find The One, and it’s my job to show buyers as many homes as they need to see before they’re comfortable making a decision. One study reports that the average buyer will see about 11 houses before choosing. That would constitute a mini series on HGTV and ain’t nobody got time for that.
People aren’t so cheerful in real life. When someone is snarky on TV, you can tell it’s contrived for the cameras. Real life is full of real drama: We see angst, grief, temper tantrums, power grabs, bullying and paranoid delusions especially after an inspector’s 50-page report makes a perfectly fine house seem like a rickety death trap. My goal is to get my clients to the closing table with minimal drama, maximum joy. A good Realtor is part therapist, part advocate, and part human Xanax.
Agents work their butts off. On TV, Realtors are mostly ornamental. In real life, I’m working resolutely behind the scenes to get the deal done. We’re doing comparative market analyses, projecting profits, arranging staging and photography, writing up listing descriptions, scheduling and conducting showings, negotiating price, running open houses, navigating inspection/repair, ordering title work, fielding calls from other agents, inspectors, appraisers — I’ve even driven my clients’ dogs around in my car during showings, repainted someone’s living room, held a tag sale for a hoarder, and babysat for a new mother who desperately needed a nap. I have yet to see an HGTV Realtor wipe dog vomit off a seller’s carpet.
Deals sometimes explode. In real life not all deals make it to the closing table. A buyer loses a job. A house doesn’t appraise and the seller won’t come down in price. The buyer’s offer is contingent on him selling his house and that deal falls apart. A seller refuses to make critical repairs to her house so the buyer walks. I may be an optimist by nature, but it’s my job to walk my clients through all the worst case scenarios so we can prepare for them.
It takes more than 60 minutes and a sledgehammer to renovate a home. I love helping buyers find fixer-uppers; it’s incredibly gratifying to visit the house a year later to see the transformation. But there is nothing simple about rehabbing, whether you’re doing it yourself or hiring experts. Finding honest, reliable, competent, sober contractors isn’t easy. As for DIY, even repainting kitchen cabinets or installing tile backsplash takes real skill if you want professional results. I keep a short but precious A-List of contractors and tradespeople that I share with my renovation-minded clients, and I’m always happy to help sellers figure out which repairs and improvements will likely net the highest return when they’re ready to list.
Realtors rarely look that good. Yes, we’re all beautiful in our own way but if I’m going to crawl down rickety steps in the moldy basement of a 90-year-old house, or get on my knees to lift up a floor register to see if there are hardwoods underneath that shag carpeting, I’ll be doing it in jeans and Chucks, not a skirt and stilettos.