“Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light . . . “
— Dylan Thomas
When I was young I never heard of dementia or Alzheimer’s disease which is the major form of dementia. People said, “So-and-so is childish or is losing his/her memory.”
Harrison Terrace where I spoke in November struck me as a more attractive place than where Bill stayed for a short while after by-pass surgery. I asked the receptionist, “Could my husband have stayed here?” “Certainly,” she replied. “But only if he had dementia.”
I was shocked. If this hundred-ten-bed facility accepts only those who have dementia, how many people suffer from it? According to information on the Internet, 5.3 million Americans suffered from it in 2015. Two-thirds of them were women, and most were over sixty-five years old.
Alzheimer’s is a degradation of brain tissue which once lost can never be replaced. Deposits of a protein accumulate inside nerve cells. Tangles render nerve cells unable to carry out necessary brain functions. Tangles, along with plaque, are a hallmark of Alzheimer’s disease.
How frightening is this? It is the only cause of death in the top ten that cannot be slowed or cured. Thus, caregivers, regardless of their kindness and devoted effort, cannot halt their patients’ journey into what I think of as the dark night of the soul.
Jeff Thomas, an ordained Elder in the Church of the Nazarene and fulltime chaplain at Harrison Terrace, is an example of those who devote their lives to caring for others. He praised Omar Johnson, the Executive Director of Harrison Terrace, for giving him the freedom to oversee religious services, chaplain interns and spiritual care volunteers and to establish and manage programs such as the one where I was a speaker. (A Catholic mass is held once a month.)
He told me, “When I was offered this position, I didn’t think that I could do it. Now I wouldn’t be anywhere else!” He explained why: He has a great appreciation for the elderly that stems from extremely close relationships with both sets of his grandparents who lived nearby and who provided hugs, treats and listening ears. He said, “My spiritual gifting is in pastoral care. I am probably a better encourager, shepherd, counselor pastor, than a CEO administrator/preacher/evangelist type of pastor.” His attitude is similar to that of the nurse who said that she wouldn’t become an M.D. because she would lose the bedside care of her patients. He views his and the work of fellow caregivers as a calling, rather than a job.
It makes no difference whether you are rich or poor, unknown or famous, ordinary or powerful. Several years ago, Eleanor Riley Morgan, a high school classmate, succumbed to Alzheimer’s. President Ronald Reagan spoke touchingly of his coming journey into “the sunset” of his life. A real estate client passed away from Alzheimer’s recently. We received a Christmas card from a couple whom we met during a tour of Italy years ago. Alas, Ann whom I remember as bright, cheerful person, is institutionalized.
However, many people grow old without succumbing to dementia/Alzheimer’s. Here’s a story that gladdens my heart: Vivian Forst, the mother of one of my Knightstown high school chums, will be 105 years old in June! Think of it! Her vision and hearing are diminished, but her wit remains sharp. A few days following surgery after she broke her leg four months ago, three men lifted her from her bed and moved her to a chair. After they left, a nurse came in and asked, “How are you doing, Mrs. Forst?” “Oh, just fine! I just entertained three men in my bedroom, and I’ve still got it!” When I finally grow up I want to be like Vivian. More to come next week: “The Long Goodbye” wclarke@comcast.net