In memory of Wilbur and Lois Frazier and Earl and Ruth Gard
“Every man beareth within himself the entire human condition.”
—Michel de Montaigne
During Wanda’s and my growing-up years in Knightstown there was a code of civility and kindness that insulated us from the outside world. Being in and out of each other’s houses and knowing each other’s families taught the town’s young people that we were all alike. Our parents didn’t discuss race. Wanda, our Knightstown acquaintances and I see each other simply as people who don’t have be identified by adjectives in front of their names. Writing this has shown me that the most important thing is that Wanda is just plain Wanda.
I think that, to a degree, we were insulated from the outside world. As Wanda points out, we were innocent young girls when we left home and discovered that life in some towns and cities was different. Black and white students at Ball State didn’t mingle socially. Some barbers in Muncie refused to cut the hair of a black acquaintance, saying that Negro hair would damage their shears. A coworker at the dorm where I worked, a handsome dude who was a member of a black fraternity and had a gorgeous girlfriend, offered to pay me to type a paper for him. I told him to come to the house where I lived. It being a lovely day, we sat on the front steps. Afterwards, I was shocked and outraged when my landlady said, “Don’t you dare ask him to this house again. It doesn’t look right, and the other girls who live here don’t like it!”
When Wanda went to work in Indianapolis her coworkers asked, “Did you live in a special neighborhood?” “No.” “Did you go to a different school?” “There was only one school.” “Were there any other black kids in your class?” “Nope, just me.” “Did you have to sit in the balcony at the movies?” “What do you mean?” (The balcony was reserved for adults and smokers.) “Did you go to white people’s houses?” “Of course.” “Did white kids come to your house?” “A whole bunch of white kids hung out at my house.”
Wanda’s mother told my sister, Christine who was her contemporary, that in some towns women of color couldn’t try on dresses in shops. They could only hold them up and look in a mirror. In some places, they traced an outline of black people’s feet to determine which shoes would fit.
Everyone knows about the discrimination in housing, schools and jobs, but the constant discrimination in the smaller things would also have driven me crazy. I asked Wanda, “How do you keep from being angry and bitter?” “ It’s because of my father.” Her dad was a very calm, quiet, dignified person who said, “Treat others the way you’d like to be treated.”
Bill has two great nieces — both beautiful women — whose mother is Korean. One of them was in a government office, filling out a form that designated race. Feeling that she had every right to do so, she marked “Caucasian” as she is half white. The clerk stood in front of her and changed what she had written.
I find it difficult to accept the premise that having a single drop of another race identifies one. Chickens sometimes have a pecking order where they choose one poor chicken to peck. Homo Sapiens — thinking man — is supposedly the most intelligent being in nature. Why must human beings all over the world act like bird brains and be so mean to each another?
Unlike other creatures who have to live according to instinct, humans have freedom of choice. They don’t have to live according to their parents’ pecking order and social, racial and religious bigotry. They can change. I dream of a day when people focus on their common humanity rather than on history or their differences. wclarke@comcast.net